Sunday, 11 September 2016

Bill on the Cyberweb

Bill knows about the Internet but doesn't use it himself. He knows it from the wife mainly, who spends most of the day posting up crap about herbal remedies or astrology or whatever fad she's going through at the time. Anyway, the other day Bill heard from the wife that she was "getting trolled" by somebody who was calling her a cunt for believing in astrology or ghosts or something like that. Bill was pretty sanguine about it.
    "I faked a bit of outrage, but I thought those lads were doing me a real service. Hat's off to them. Can't fucking stand it when she starts on about being a libra or whatever. 'Can't walk the dog today cos I'm a libra', 'Can't cook dinner today cos I'm a libra.', 'Well, you think I'm a lazy old cow cos you're a scorpio.' Its a bloody nightmare sometimes. Not to mention that time with Janet."
     "Janet?"
     "One time I went up to Janet down the road and told her how sorry I was to hear that she had cancer, only to find out later on that the pigging wife had said to me that she was a cancer. That mistake cost me three round trips to Lidl."
     I asked Bill what he thought about Facebook.
     "Can't complain really. Keeps the wife quiet most of the time, which is a blessing. And I reckon its the main reason why kids don't write 'fuck off' on the walls any more. That's a shame, but what can you do?"

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